Awakening

Today I am back to uni after a hefty 3 week long break. My brain feels like mush. An inactive brain equates to an inactive Rose. I've been living too lavishly for the past 3 weeks. Eating and drinking whatever I want. I think it was to occupy my mind, I had nothing to do. I felt so useless. Maybe that's why I chose a career in teaching, because you're constantly stimulated, new situations every single day.

I like stress.

It's what gets things done. I can never do an assignment gradually, I have to do it all in one go, usually a couple of hours before it's due. I know I shouldn't, but it's the only way I get things done. And I do okay.


We had a fun Girl's Night. Despite the bouncer confiscating our bottle of vodka. Oops. The night started out kind of according to Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". Arnie getting man-handled at Universal Bar, vodka confiscated at Brass Monkey, trying to get to Shape, finding Hula Bula Bar instead, just as we are about to walk in there is a city-wide black-out. We concede defeat and head to the place that we all knew we were going to end up at anyway: Metro City. It was a fun night. And girls, if you're reading this i'm sorry, I should of gone home the first time you asked =( I've been feeling bad about it ever since.


That night took me back to my short-lived rebellious legal teenage years. I had a bit too much fun from years 18 to 20. It cost me a lot, lifestyle-wise, friends-wise, innocence-wise and braincell-wise. People always say "if I had a chance to go back, I wouldn't change a thing" Maybe in 20 years this will be my attitude, but at the moment these experiences are still fresh and at the moment, yes, there would be a couple of things I would change, just so that some people wouldn't get hurt, including myself.

But then again...every single thing that I have done, have had done to me, that i've seen, experienced has led up to the person that I am today, and I love me..so I guess all those past experiences are a good thing, because I wouldn't change me for anything (maybe minus a couple of kilos) .. (and nicer skin).

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You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.  ~Leo Aikman

I came across this quote and find it speaks truth. I do know people who just constantly judge and talk about other people. And that's really all they'll ever talk to me about. Sometimes, I get caught up in the moment and share in the judgement and I feel horrible after it. That's not who I am. I call these people Toxic Friends.


And one more quote:

Excess on occasion is exhilirating.  It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.  ~W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up, 193

I think I need to work on preventing my Excess becoming my Habit. 

=)